People forget the human behind this sexuality by Abhinav Dasgupta

Peek into my diary entry from last night and you’ll find a whispered debate that I had with the moon when the stars slept on her shoulder

I asked her that most days I feel forgotten that most days my feelings are forgotten and I cease to be flesh and blood and all things that can be broken and hurt i cease to be all things red and painful and black

and suddenly

i am intangible and I am a concept

Rather a cause to be supported or rebelled against

I asked the moon if she’s ever seen a rainbow and she shook her head and I told her that there is one that I wear like a necklace

but lately, it feels akin to a choker occluding all my breath with the weight of all those news channels full of screaming voices and what they associate with it

this or that and here or there

she told me that it must be a noose then tightening and draining me of my humanity and I agree with her because somedays

people forget the human behind this sexuality because most days people search for a brain between my legs and a voice that comes only when a man walks by

I am a boy who also has preferences and not the other way around

I am not just the argument you had with a homophobic friend yesterday or a law that was passed

I am beautiful like that but I’m also beyond that

I am a person you embrace and an overflowing bucket of feelings other than just love and lust

It is something i am but it’s not the only thing I am

The moon smiled sadly and said that she wished that the rainbow colouring me was less grey and less encapsulating and shone a little just a little brighter for me

that is where the diary entry and my plea ends you can close the book now and I hope you see me for more than just a single word amongst all the poems written on my skin.

Abhinav Dasgupta

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